On absence and it's inclination to make one absent-minded..

So it's been a while since I posted... In fact, I may just break this up into two or more posts, because I can...

What you need to know: I am... crazy (as usual). I was planning to move to Portland, that may have fallen through. It's too early and I'm too upset to tell. The plan was contingent on staying with Lloyd, who is being a MAJOR poo-head... after telling me from day one that he would LOVE it if I would "narrow the bandwidth" to just him, he is now retracting that statement and declaring that "us" would be a bad, bad idea (which I second...). After telling me constantly since he arrived in Oregon how much he misses me, how much he would like for me to come there, and how he wouldn't bother coming back to New Orleans if I'm not going to be here, he is now saying that there is no room for me in his life there.... busy, busy, busy, drama, drama, drama, etc, etc, etc. Silly me for believing him.

I didn't really want an us... I wanted something familiar. Lloyd=familiar. Portland=familiar. That's all I wanted. A little comfort in an unsure world... just temporarily... but Apparently, that's too much to ask... obviously, he is much more comfortable with the un-tarnishable image of me that lives in his head than with the reality of me in his house. Unfortunately, not surprising.

Also not surprising is the fact that neither of us have contacted the other since that conversation. I will forgive him, if he'll give me the opportunity. I should've known better than to believe him.

However, Melissa is planning to come stay with me for November and leave for Seattle the first week in December... Which was my ride to Portland... and a great road trip... How I'm going to pull that off now I have no idea. I don't have the money to get a place in Portland by myself and we all know how I feel about roommates. Sarah is unavailable and anyone else wold be untenantable. Spell-check hates me tonight.

I suppose I could just de-clutter my house and take a road trip to Seattle anyways... if I could get my boss to give me the time off... I'm tired of him anyways. I could fake an emergency, couldn't I?

I don't know. We'll see.

There are other plans on the table, and some interesting facts acquired. For example, did you know that it is distressingly easy to ex-patriate to Canada? (That means emigrate... look it up.) Apparently, there is a points system. Out of 100 points, you need 67 to get Canadian citizenship. You get 16 for speaking English, 16 for graduating high school and 10 for being between the ages of 21-49. You also get ten for having a job offer, which is good because if you don't have a job offer, you have to have $10K in your bank account. I don't have $10K in my bank account. You get 16 for having One year's work experience in a "qualified profession" of which cook is one... Yeah, if I had a job offer, I'd have about 82 points... Ex-pat here I come... Socialized health care, no litter, no Bush... now there's a goal I can go after... Besides, everything's easier for Canadians... travel, obtaining Chinese produce, visas, dental care, respect in the global community... yup. I could go work in Australia easy too... something about Commonwealth states... just need a plane ticket to australia, really. And I could say I expatriated because of stupid old Bush... that would be nice. I know, I know, Canada's cold. But Vancouver's not really that cold. But Vancouver is EXPENSIVE. Being named the best city in the world to live in for like 5 years running has made it ridiculously difficult to get an apartment.... But Victoria's not far away... and it's even warmer there... the water keeps it more temperate. I wouldn't mind living in Victoria for a while. I think you're not allowed to leave Canada for a long time though... but I could rent a boat and sneak over, I'm sure... it's not far. Or I could just make everyone visit me in Canada.... that's an option too.

There's a company in Dallas that's DESPERATE for talented female chefs.... I could go there. Although, having been banned from the city of "Big D, little A" once, I'm hesitant to go back. I don't like Texas much. And the public transit is total crap.

There's always Florida, of course...

And Jen says that if I want to stay a while longer and save some real money (moving to Canada money??), since I have to be out of this place by new years, I could move into the warehouse where she lives. It's not much, but it's cheap. And it would definitely make me want to leave here quicker... and they wouldn't mind the cats at all. But I would need less stuff. It's a one-room kinda deal.

So, I don't know. That's my official conclusion. I intend to put off decision-making until it becomes absolutely necessary.

In other news, Dennis is on vacation in Seattle after having worked an appalling number of double-shifts and having had no time/energy for me lately. I'm reaching new lows of sexual frustration. I have resorted to dating other people but so far none of them are making it to the putting-out portion... depressing really.

Thusly, I bought 5 sweaters at a rummage sale and am destructing them in record time....

I also knit myself a lovely pair of fall-colored armwarmers. pictures to come.

I'm devoting a fair amount of energy to knitting my hats for hookers, and that's going pretty well. Two lovely small hats, one right-sized hat for Melissa and now a slightly large hat for a hooker... I've promised 6 total, which means I need 5 more good-sized ones... The little ones i'll donate to the kids in Colorado. I should do that soon... meaning I should finish weaving in the ends and send them off... it's cold in Colorado by now.

My knitting group has by and large decided that we will form a happy hour knitting circle, which I'm delighted about. We now meet Thursdays from 7-11 at the Courtyard Marriott, which is about three blocks from my work. Ok, four and a half. Awesome. Beer, knitting, and me getting to join in because I usually get off work by 10 on Thursdays. I like this plan. I even stopped by for a while on Saturday and knitted with Lynn (the bartender; which is why we have this meeting now..).

I also created an entire (if smallish) black cat pinata for a pinata exchange... Pictures to come. I liked it very much. It was an adorable little black cat. I stuffed it so full of stuff it overflowed into the box. A lot. But that's ok, it was a flat-rate box. In exchange, I got a lovely skull pinata, which I've hung on my pot rack to await a bad day. It's full of lots of neat stuff (I peeked) and lots of spider rings. Which I've decided to use as stitch markers for a while. I think I will also string some on some black and purple fluffy yarn and make a Halloween scarf. just a little one. Hell, I have the time... I'm not getting any...

It's really appalling how much I'm getting done lately.

I've started to re-organize the house. But I've declared that Melissa is in charge of the actual removing things from the house, which means that I need to find somewhere to put the pile until she gets here.... which is the real problem.

I've reduced the bookshelf by a LOT, as well as the cookbook shelf (which is depressing enough...). I found the back of the closet today, and sent off my 30lb bag of beads to Jen who will use them for art projects. She's excited and so am I... one less 30lb bag to deal with. The rest of the closet's contents... well, let's just say, I would REALLY like to just shove it back in the closet. But I can't... so I have to deal with the pile of John's shit and some piles of mine. Presently, the bedroom is strewn with electrical cords I spent an hour untangling (did I mention the lack of action I'm getting??). The living room is strewn with an unraveled sweater I need to form into hanks, wash and then ball. I think I'm gonna have to borrow Jodi's ball-winder... I've been balling all the ribbon yarns so that they take up less space, and balling my box of string on cards instead of bobbins for the same reason. It's slow work, but it's effective and hell, I don't have anyone (uh, I meant anything...) better to do...

In book news, Do Not Read "Hustlers, Beats and Others". It fucking sucks. The author largely devotes the book to touting his method of research and denouncing current sociological methods... and then you get to his racist treatise... it's not pretty. It's like publishing the worst face of your ego... and calling it science... ick.

In house news, Jeanna is coming on Thursday, staying through Monday and we're all hoping she is having a good sanity day. Four of them. Cross your fingers for me, please. I can't deal with Psycho Jeanna right now.

One Brick is coming back 11/5-9 and there will be lots of people who want to see me. Should be fun. Sherry will be here, and she's bringing a friend. Tracy might be here, which should be interesting if Melissa's here as last time they got drunk and hung all over eachother... Or rather... maybe interesting isn't the word as they're both planning on staying at my house and I don't wanna see that. I think it's retribution for Lucinda walking in on me and Lloyd.

I've finally gotten to spend some time with Jen, which is great. I miss her. She's cool. She says I should get bonus points on my Canadian application for Gibson. She says that maybe if I send in a picture and a note about how cool he is they'll give us extra points to immigrate... they give extra points for well-educated spouses, why not awesome cats??

And I have to ball some yarn and mail it to Sweden today. Yippee. That's gonna cost some money...
And I haven't written my obit to send to wherever I'm supposed to be sending it... need to do that.
And I then there are other swaps to be dealt with... like this mess of red yarn that was a sweater... the knitting supply bag is almost done, but I was kind of hoping that the counter I want to buy her goes on sale so I can buy it cheaper... doesn't look like it's gonna happen though. Damn. And she wants replacement cables for interchangeable circulars and I need to ask her whether she has Boye, Denise or KnitPicks... probably Boye. My hands are tired from knitting armwarmers, untangling knots and balling yarn and string... I think I'm gonna call it...

G'night.