a Missive on Joy and Simplicity as they apply to Cookies and Sex

Sent to Dennis early last Sunday:

For a couple of reasons, I'll e-mail this instead of texting it...

If you'll recall, the original premise of our... well.. our arrangement... was a massage in exchange for cookies. You agreed to it, I agreed to it, and really, I feel that keeping it that way makes things simpler. I know, I know, I'm making you fat or some nonsense... but I really do take great joy in the baking... and... at least from my perspective, odd as it may be, it keeps the relationship simpler. There's a give and take in it that keeps things grounded.

I know, I know, you and your highly ordered lifestyle... everything in it's place... alles en ordenung... But remember for a moment that if I shared your highly ordered lifestyle, I'd never have met you. I'll make the batches smaller, hell, I'll even make 'em low-fat, I've done worse... you can drop them off at the homeless shelter for all I care... hand them out to strangers like I do... But I Like baking. I do. Sure, sure, I suppose I could just make cookies for Eddy every week... but it wouldn't be the same. I gave him a batch of failed chocolate madeleines (they came out like little brownies) and he told his sister I made "the black ones" just for him...

I am an indulgent creature, pray indulge me... try a cookie just for show and then leave them on a random doorstep on your way to work.... I promise not to make you any more cakes... even though I was just thinking of making the best cake I know for your birthday. You'll break my heart to take my food away... you have no idea how much I enjoy having someone to cook for.

If you insist, I won't bring them. Can't say I'll be happy about it. Can't say that at all... but I won't bring them if you'll just snub them. To think how recently you told me that you wouldn't let me in if I didn't bring cookies...

Breakfast is whenever I damn well get around to it. I'm packing now and then I have some housecleaning to do. I have to catch up with Jodi around noon to give her the key, and then I have to go to the airport. Which means I'm not lugging breakfast to your house and then passing out and missing all the things I have to do this morning. If you care to join me, I suppose you can. You'd have to eat a waffle though...