Happy Birthday To Me!

I am afraid that at some point while I wasn't looking I became a grown up. Not a cubicle-dwelling, tie-wearing, tax-paying, home-owning, child-rearing type, but some sort of a grown-up nonetheless. I have the decided urge to do something immature and foolish. I want to go back to school or jump off of something... I don't wanna grow-up, I wanna be a Toy's R Us kid!

I never wanted to be a kid because it meant I was dependent on my idiotic and incompetent parents. I wanted to be a grown-up so I could be dependent on me and no one else. Well, I have that. I don't want all the things that come with being a grown-up.... the RESPONSIBILITY... does that echo to you? It does when I say it... with the big scary voice echo.... Not good. I don't want to be sensible or reasonable or compromise or any of that stuff. Not fun. I want to have all the fun I couldn't have as a kid because those sucky people were bringing me down. I need to do something irrational and fast! I could dye my hair purple.. that's quick and easy. I've got tattoos... sky-diving? But where do they do that around here? Living in a tent just sucks, no matter what any of those pot-smoking hippies say. I'm already sleeping around, so we got that one... Stay up all night with beer and Cheetos? I hate Cheetos. I don't know what to do.

So what brought on this fear of rationality, you ask? Not just my 26th birthday (I've passed the middle of my twenties now...) but the fact that a very nice boy whom I have no intention of keeping and who has no stated intention of keeping me just bought me a $250 birthday dinner. If that's not grown-up, I don't know what is. Now, it was sweet of him, and I enjoyed it. I let him pick the food and I picked the wine. And we ate and drank and chatted for hours. It was so grown up we spent most of it on opposite sides of the table playing footsies. When I was younger they only bought you fancy dinners if they wanted to ask a stupid question like, Will you marry me? or Can we try something "different" in bed?

He didn't ask any stupid questions. Nope. Just bought a lovely dinner, took me back to his place and did the same things we do every time we go back to his place. Ok, this time, he did tie my hands behind my back for a while, but he didn't ask and that's not what dinner was for. I'dve objected but I could very clearly get them free if I needed them.

So now I'm faced with having to make an irrational decision and fast. I don't want it to be a regrettable irrational decision though. And if you know me, you know I've made a number of seemingly irrational decisions over the years and they've turned out anything but regrettable. So now what? Do I... develop a silly hobby?? I have one... I knit. Do I.... what do I do?? Sky-diving seems the only rational decision. Jump out of a plane. Yup. Only thing to be done. Well, as soon as my connection decides to work again, I'll have to find out where the nearest sky-diving place is and go. The only problem is that I'm terrified of heights and may need someone to go with me and I don't know if anyone will... I'll have to bully someone into sky-diving with me.

Oh, on a side note... I sleep around. I slept with Dennis and Matt and Lloyd immediately, we all know this... and I got a fancy birthday dinner and lots of other perks. Jodi and Steve just started dating, no sex... they went to the movies, they each paid their own way and he wasn't even smart enough to walk her to her car. Now he's taking her out for dinner... to Ye Old College Inn... which is just pathetic. It's a little bar-looking place that has a huge sign advertising their sandwiches. Their sandwiches!!! Who's got the better plan now?? huh? Yeah, I think it's me.

The blinking lights are annoying me. Stop blinking, motherfuckers!!

Your lag time today is two days.