The Gentleman In Question...

I swear to god, no one is putting out in Orleans Parish. Or Jefferson. Except me.

I've filled the third spot on the roster. Of, course, it may need some shaking up after one of them is behaving poorly... But that's not the point. Below is a faithful copy of the e-mail I recieved from the third, after having spent our first night together and blown him off for a repeat performance with a lame excuse about having to catch up on some late-night phone calls. Will someone please explain to me how people can survive without a phone? I love phones. This gentleman has no phone...thus the e-mail. Please note: he has some idea about my views towards relationshippy-ness, having invited him over blatantly admitting that someone else had stood me up for the evening... see above about behaving poorly.. Dennis, it should be said, is behaving wonderfully and is taking me out for my birthday tonight, and then back to his place. There is something to be said for having sisters. However, apparently, the gentleman in question is paying little attention to the fact that I am seeing other people. I will, wisely, leave it at that and say Happy Bithday to Me, here is the e-mail:

"Re: Same Time next week

Amelia:
I thank you, also, for the enjoyable time I had. I am not worried about the 'needing your space/time' issue, as I understand it. After some review with my roommate, we are moving towards the 'we will not cohabitate together' venue, so my place looks less and less inviting for me, let alone anyone willingly inflicted as company. But, I can always find a new set of digs. But, my issues aside, I had a very good time.

Yes, you are scary; this was not a strike against you.

Mostly, I guess, because I enjoy being scared. Keep in mind the atrocious taste in movies I brought: Hannibal Rising, Dawn of the Dead and the creepiest of all, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. So, terror and good times are not distant, as with most men.

Also: I don't think I would want to inflict me on someone else such as yourself, currently, relationship-wise. But, if you change your mind, consider me someone gladly signing up for the tour.

You have both a beautiful mind, as well as anatomy, to say little of your views on life. Solid, independent and vicious women, moreso if busty and maligned in a good way ... well, needless to say, it is a thing of true and glorious wonder.

I would, however, like to give you a much better massage; I believe I owe you a far better exemplar of my capabilities.

In the meantime, please ... keep me in warm regards; you are in mine.

Ciao, for now.

-- L.
P.S.: next week. I believe this will work out. Anytime sooner, however: as you wish. I am your's to command."


**Questions:

1. Why do so many men find me scary?

2. How is it they can so blatantly disregard and "forget" the fact that they are one of three? "needing your your space/time..." yeah, with someone else...

3. HOW DO YOU LIVE WITHOUT A PHONE????

4. Am I a heartless bitch or what? Poor bastard, pinning his hopes on a girl like me...